A Night in Bed
by CartmansAssCheeks6
Summary: Lemon. Kind of. "My lacy playboy bra and undies were torn off, and I think he pulled so hard that the metal clasps on the back of the bra broke."


A Night in Bed

Hi. My name is Tori Williams. I live in a small mountain town in South Park, Colorado. I moved here when I was ten. I loved pink unicorns, rainbows, and sparkles. Most of all, I liked Britney Spears. I looked up to her, and I tried to go to all of her concerts. I think she may have changed the way I view life… and boys…

But that was way back then. This is now. I'm sixteen and now boys wolf-whistle at me when I walk down the hallways. A few months ago I might have given them a free make-out session so they could get on with their lives, but now I'm in a _real relationship._ I'm going out with the extremely hot, very sexy, _Eric Cartman_. Yes, I know you're jealous. But his six chins really turn me on. And all that blubber… man I love to twizzle his pixie-stick.

Cartman hasn't really changed since elementary school… he is still that fat, racist bastard child he always was… but now he has me. And I love him. This isn't any ordinary love, this is_ real_ love. A _physical _love. But enough with the background information; let's get on with my night!

As we lay, extremely drunk, on Cartman's purple bedsheets, I knew it was going to happen. While we kissed viciously, I used one had to cup his neck flub and the other to reach down and gently massaged the... rather thick and small, but present... bulge in his brown pants. He involentarily thrust into my hand, and roared an animalistic growl. He sounded like an enraged hippo giving birth to a sumo wrestler.

"Are we gonna do this or not, bitch?" he demanded, the look in his face slightly angered, slightly determined. How I loved that look…

"I love you, Cartman," I whispered.

He snorted. "Yeah, yeah, ho. Just hold still while I rip your goddamn clothes off."

…And he did exactly what he intended to. He actually _ripped _the clothes from my body; my blue tank-top flying across the room with the seems hanging from it. As for my jeans… well, he couldn't rip those off because they were 'too Goddamn tight' in Cartman's words, so I had to help him slide them off. My lacy playboy bra and undies were torn off, and I think he pulled so hard that the metal clasps on the back of the bra broke.

I gasped in shock and slapped him across the butt.

"Dammit you fat sexy bastard! Those cost me like…$50 bucks you fucking prick!" I protested in his beautiful face.

He only glared back and replied with his enraged hippo growl while he smashed his lips against mine, "Shut-up ho. You're _my_ bitch. I can do whatever I want to!"

I stared up at my personal angel from heaven and sighed in pleasure as I felt his six chins flap across my face.

"Oh my God, you are so hot, Cartman! FUCK ME!" I screamed.

He sneered (I consider it a smile), and thrust into me as I gasped and shreiked.

"Shut-up, bitch."

I continued to whimper, only to receive a smack across the face.

"I _said _shut-up!"

I glance up at him and shut my eyes, signaling for him to continue. He did so. It was as if every thrust was like a belly-flop from a sumo…a sexy sumo…into the soft bed. It was so wonderful that eventually he had to put tape over my mouth I was so loud…

I didn't care about what could happen or if he was even wearing a condom…all that mattered was that he was inside of me, and we were one. I would be more than happy to be the woman that carried his retarded offspring.

He grunted, but did not emit any other sounds of pleasure or discomfort. After all, it had been going on for about two hours straight; he was a beast…a sexy beast…

I was in his candyshop, and I was licking his lollypop…it was a very tasty treat…

After a few more minutes, and after he got his bearings, he rolled off of me.

"Oh my god…I love you so fucking much, Cartman…"

"…Shut-up…bitch…" Cartman said in between gasps. And then we fell asleep together.

**AN: Please comment! This was written by two people, so…yeah. Please comment and you will be so super awesome. We honestly don't care what you say. Good or bad, we just want some feedback because we thought this was hilarious.**


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